Ditch the Dye and Be Fearlessly Authentic
For many years I have been told what I should wear and how I should look. No matter what Society says, just be your Authentic Self. I have been dying my hair off and on probably since I was 15 or 16 years old. There was nothing wrong with my natural hair color, I just felt like I didn't fit in with everyone else around me. So, I did what everyone else did started changing the way I looked.
This went on for many years until I started going to a church that was against dying your hair and certain ways of dressing. So, because everyone else wasn't dying their hair or wearing certain attire I stopped too so I could fit in. The problem was I never did fit in. A few years went by, and God led me to leave that church and when I did, it was probably about a year later I started dying my hair again. Nothing was wrong with it just like before I just wanted a change.
I had always fought with insecurity my whole life and just wanted to fit in. I was 105 lbs. growing up and into my adulthood, I had Ash Blonde almost gray hair. (The reason I always dyed it) so I was always trying to change the way I looked. As I got older the insecurities were still there until I realized that it's not about what others think about us or even what we think about ourselves. It is more about what Jesus thinks about us, his opinion is really the only one that matters and when we realize it, that is when the healing can begin. So, to make a long story a little shorter my husband had been dying my hair for about 2 years and he did a great job, but I wanted to get it professionally done and when I did. It was not a good experience. at the time I had reddish brown hair, and the gray was shining like a beam from a lighthouse. I could have been easily mistaken for a skunk. Needless to say, I hated it. I felt old, frumpy and just plain jane. I went to the salon and had my hair bleached blonde, back to the color I was when I was younger. Well, the girl left bleach on the underneath of my hair, and it became a lot lighter than the rest because she didn't get it rinsed out. I was supposed to go back for another session but just didn't feel led to. I was going to have my husband dye it again and even got the hair dye from the online subscription service I was using before. But, for some reason I just didn't do it.
3-4 months went by, and I was looking in the mirror and just didn't like what I saw. I felt those insecurities trying to rise up. So, I asked God if he wanted me to dye my hair or not. Of course, I didn't get an answer right then because sometimes it takes a while for him to answer us. I then decided that I wasn't going to do anything until He gives me direction because I have learned from experience that if God isn't answering then we are to do nothing until he does. A few hours go by, and I get on Instagram and this woman that I have never seen before pops in my newsfeed talking about her story of going completely gray. This woman is not an older lady, she is probably late 30's maybe 40's. She was talking about how she ditched the dye and how she went through the transformation to completely natural hair. She had said that she found her first gray hair when she was in her 20's and had just dyed it ever since.
Now you can imagine when I saw that what was going through my mind. I was like "God, is this my answer, are you telling me to grow out my natural hair color and go gray?" I just kind of blew it off and carried on but the women talking about their transformation didn't stop. I started seeing them everywhere, and I knew in my spirit that God was answering my question. All of a sudden, a fear came over me of looking old. I know that we can't stop from getting old, but none of us want to look old. At least that is how I felt. Those insecurities came rushing in and I started crying. It revealed some things that hadn't yet been healed from my past that was associated with how men had treated me when I was younger. I immediately gave all those feelings and memories to Jesus and allowed him to start healing me from those situations and events in my life. I will go into more detail of that at a later time.
By now I am completely overwhelmed with all this new revelation that God had given me and about what he was telling me I needed to do and that was to ditch the dye, ditch the way people think we should look and be authentically fearless with God's help that is. Only he can heal us and prepare us to be who he originally created us to be. Society buries us in cliche's of how they think we should dress, do our makeup, do our hair, and even how we should talk, walk and where we should go. God came to set us free from being slaves to society and to what others think. So, today I would like to invite you on a journey of my transformation to my natural hair color and I hope you join me along with countless other women by ditching the dye. This is way out of my comfort zone, but this is what God wants me to do. I will be documenting the ups and the downs through this journey and how God leads me every step of the way.
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Until New Time..,
Have a Fantabulous Week